Sitting down to write about someone you love can feel overwhelming, especially in the quiet aftermath of a loss. When you look at a blank page, it helps to remember that the standard parts of an obituary exist simply to guide you. An obituary does not have to be literary perfection. Its purpose is to share the basic facts of a person's life, announce their passing, and invite those who cared about them to remember and gather.
Understanding each section makes the writing process manageable. By taking the piece one component at a time, you can create a tribute that is clear, accurate, and personal. Whether you are drafting a notice during a time of immediate grief or preparing information in advance, this guide walks through the essential elements step by step.
1. The Announcement of Death
The first part of an obituary serves as the opening statement. It gently announces the death, identifies your loved one by name, and provides essential context so readers immediately recognize who is being honored. This opening is typically one or two clear sentences.
In this opening section, families usually include:
- Full name: Include their full legal name, along with any preferred nickname, maiden name, or common title placed in parentheses or quotation marks.
- Age: State their age at the time of death.
- Date and place of passing: Note the day of the week, full date, and the city and state where they passed away.
- Circumstances (optional): You may choose to mention how they died, such as "after an extended illness" or "peacefully surrounded by family." This detail is entirely personal. You are never obligated to disclose a medical cause or private circumstances if your family prefers to keep them confidential.
A simple opening might read: "Margaret 'Peggy' Jane Jensen, 82, passed away peacefully at her home in Salt Lake City on Tuesday, October 14, 2025, surrounded by her children."
2. Life Story and Personal Biography
Once the announcement is made, the focus transitions to the story of their life. This section forms the narrative heart among the parts of an obituary. Rather than listing every single event, choose the milestones and quiet callings that truly reflected their character.
Begin with the beginning: date of birth, place of birth, and parents' names. From there, trace the meaningful arcs of their personal history. You might recount childhood neighborhoods, schools attended, military service, career pursuits, or when and where they met their spouse. If they served in the armed forces, noting their branch, rank, or notable assignments is a customary and dignified tribute. Families caring for former service members often find comfort in coordinating formal recognitions alongside these written memories, including what veterans' funeral benefits include in Salt Lake City, Utah.
Beyond formal dates and achievements, allow their everyday passions to show. Did they spend Saturday mornings fishing in Big Cottonwood Canyon? Were they an avid gardener, a dedicated community volunteer, or an artisan known for baking bread for neighbors? It is often these humble, vivid details that bring an obituary to life. While some people also prepare spoken remarks using guides on writing a meaningful eulogy, the written obituary remains a permanent, lasting biographical record.
3. Surviving and Predeceased Family Members
Listing relatives acknowledges the family network and helps distant acquaintances trace genealogical connections. In many communities, including Utah, family history is deeply valued, making this section especially meaningful. It can also be emotionally delicate, so drafting this list carefully with other relatives helps prevent unintentional omissions.
Convention generally suggests listing deceased relatives first, followed by survivors. A common order includes:
- Predeceased relatives: Preceded in death by parents, spouses, siblings, or children who passed away earlier.
- Surviving immediate family: The surviving spouse or partner, followed by children and their spouses, listed in order of birth.
- Extended generations: Grandchildren, great-grandchildren, surviving siblings, nieces, and nephews. For large families with dozens of descendants, it is entirely appropriate to list a total count (such as "twelve grandchildren and six great-grandchildren") rather than every individual name, particularly when newspaper space or print character limits are a consideration.
- Special companions: Some families choose to mention cherished lifelong friends, dedicated caregivers, or beloved pets who offered faithful company.
Take your time reviewing this section. Reading names aloud with a sibling or partner can ensure that spouses, in-laws, and hyphenated last names are spelled correctly.
4. Gathering and Service Details
The fourth component provides practical guidance for those who wish to pay their respects in person or watch from afar. Clear logistical information prevents confusion and phone calls to grieving immediate family members during a hectic week.
Be sure to provide complete, unambiguous details for each event:
- Type of service: Specify whether the gathering is a traditional viewing, chapel service, graveside dedication, mass, memorial, or an informal gathering like a celebration of life.
- Dates and exact times: Clearly write out days of the week, dates, and starting times for all viewings and ceremonies.
- Location names and addresses: Provide the full name of the funeral home chapel, church building, or cemetery, along with the street address and city.
- Virtual options: If a service is being live-streamed for out-of-town relatives, mention where the link can be accessed, such as through the funeral provider's memorial page.
If services will be private for family only, state this simply and kindly: "Private family services will be held at a later date." This sets a clear boundary while keeping friends informed.
5. Memorial Contributions, Flowers, and Gratitude
Near the conclusion, guide friends and community members on how best to express their condolences. If your loved one had a favorite charity, research foundation, or animal shelter, this is where you can specify donations in lieu of flowers.
Provide exact organization names and website addresses where gifts can be received. If the family welcomes floral arrangements, you can omit the charitable request or note that floral tributes may be sent directly to the mortuary or church before the service. Many families also use this space to offer a brief word of appreciation to hospice workers, hospital nurses, or neighbors who offered steady care during a final illness. A simple sentence like, "The family wishes to express heartfelt gratitude to the staff at the care center for their gentle compassion," acknowledges those who stood by your loved one.
6. Photos and Choosing a Fitting Tone
Along with the text, selecting a photograph is an important visual anchor. Look for a portrait where the person looks like their true self. It does not need to be a formal studio picture; a warm snapshot that captures their familiar smile, their eyes, or an outdoor setting they loved works wonderfully.
Tone is entirely up to you. Obituaries can be solemn and reverent, warm and poetic, or gently humorous. The tone should mirror the person being remembered. If they were known for lighthearted wit, a gentle smile in the prose is completely appropriate. If their faith or heritage was central to their daily path, incorporating scripture, a short poem, or a cultural sentiment honors that foundation. Reading past notices on a dedicated obituaries page can offer helpful inspiration if you feel stuck.
Writing with Peace of Mind
Writing an obituary is an act of care. As you assemble these parts of an obituary, remember that you do not have to write the entire draft in one sitting. Take quiet breaks, gather notes from relatives, and let the facts settle into place. If you are ever unsure about publication deadlines, newspaper submission guidelines, or how to phrase a complicated family arrangement, professional support is always close at hand.
Larkin Mortuary has been helping Utah families preserve memories and navigate loss since 1885. Our experienced funeral directors are always available to review a draft, handle newspaper submissions, or answer your questions. Please feel welcome to contact Larkin Mortuary whenever we can be of service to your family.
Frequently asked questions
What is the difference between an obituary and a death notice?
A death notice is typically a brief, factual announcement listing basic details such as name, dates, and service times. An obituary includes those practical facts alongside a fuller biography, family survivors, and personal stories of the person's life.
Are we required to publish an obituary in a newspaper?
No. Publishing in a printed newspaper is completely optional. Many families choose to publish an obituary exclusively online through a funeral home website or community memorial page.
How long should an obituary typically be?
Most printed obituaries range from 200 to 450 words to balance completeness with publication costs. Online obituaries can be as detailed as the family wishes since digital memorial pages usually do not have strict word limits.
Can the funeral home help submit the obituary to local papers?
Yes. Funeral directors routinely format, proofread, and submit obituaries directly to local or national newspapers on behalf of the family, ensuring print deadlines and publication guidelines are met.
Should cause of death always be included in an obituary?
No. Deciding whether to include the cause of death is an entirely personal family decision. You are free to share medical details, describe it generally, or leave the cause unmentioned.