Sitting down to write about someone you love after they have passed away can feel overwhelming. When grief is fresh, finding the right words is difficult, and knowing how to write an obituary that captures a full lifetime in a few paragraphs often seems like an impossible task. Taking the process one quiet step at a time helps bring clarity and ease to this meaningful tribute.
An obituary serves two distinct purposes. It acts as a public record announcing the death and providing details for gatherings or services, and it stands as a lasting personal tribute to an individual's character, accomplishments, and relationships. Whether you are composing a brief newspaper announcement or a comprehensive online remembrance, breaking the writing into manageable parts lets you focus on memory rather than pressure.
Gathering the Essential Details First
Before you begin drafting sentences, it helps to gather basic factual information on a single sheet of paper. Searching through files or asking family members for dates in the middle of writing can disrupt your train of thought. Having these notes close at hand keeps the process smooth and unhurried.
You will want to collect full names, important milestones, and details regarding their immediate family. If you are uncertain about exact dates or spelling, consult birth records, marriage certificates, or family records beforehand. You may also find it reassuring to review our guide on understanding the parts of an obituary for additional structure as you compile these notes.
- Full legal name, including maiden names, preferred nicknames, or titles
- Date and place of birth, as well as date and place of death
- Names of surviving family members, including spouses, children, siblings, and grandchildren
- Names of predeceased family members, such as parents or siblings who passed earlier
- Education, military service, and career milestones
- Hobbies, community involvement, religious affiliations, or volunteer work
- Confirmed dates, times, and locations for viewings, services, or burials
Step-by-Step Guide on How to Write an Obituary
Most obituaries follow a familiar, chronological order that readers find comforting and easy to navigate. By moving through these five traditional sections, you can write the notice piece by piece without worrying about how it all fits together right away.
1. The Opening Announcement
The first sentence typically shares the person's name, age, community of residence, and date of passing. Some families choose to mention the cause of death or whether the passing was peaceful, while others prefer to keep health details private. Both approaches are entirely acceptable.
Example: Margaret "Peggy" Nelson, age 82, of Salt Lake City, Utah, passed away peacefully on November 14, with her family by her side.
2. Life Story and Key Milestones
The second section sketches the outline of their days. Begin with their birth and parents, then move through childhood, schooling, marriages, military honors, and careers. Keep this section focused on what mattered most to them rather than listing every job they ever held.
Example: Born in Logan to Arthur and Clara Jensen, Peggy attended Utah State University before dedicating thirty years to teaching elementary school. She married David Nelson in 1965, and together they built a home filled with music and shared projects.
3. Personal Qualities, Interests, and Character
This is where the tribute comes alive. Reflect on what brought them joy, their quirks, their kindnesses, and the small habits people will remember. Mentioning a love for mountain trails, vegetable gardens, baking bread, or community choir gives readers a genuine sense of who they were.
Example: Peggy was rarely seen without knitting needles in her hands or flour on her apron. She spent summers tending her rose beds and winters knitting warm blankets for newborn grandchildren, greeting neighbors with quiet warmth and an open door.
4. Listing Family Members
Listing relatives can sometimes feel complicated, particularly in large or blended families. A standard convention begins with surviving immediate family, followed by extended family, and concludes with those who died previously.
Example: She is survived by her husband, David; her children, Sarah (Mark) Peterson and Thomas (Elena) Nelson; six grandchildren; and her brother, James. She was preceded in death by her parents and her sister, Ruth.
5. Service Information and Memorial Gifts
Conclude with clear directions regarding memorial events, funeral gatherings, or graveside services. If the family prefers charitable gifts in place of flowers, clearly state the organization name and where donations may be sent.
Example: A memorial gathering will be held on Saturday, November 22, at 11:00 a.m. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the local public library foundation.
Simple Obituary Templates to Help You Begin
When staring at an empty page, using a structured template can give you a steady starting place. You can copy one of the outlines below and fill in the brackets with your loved one's specific details, editing the phrasing until it sounds natural.
Standard Template
[Full Name], [age], of [City, State], passed away on [Date] in [City, State].
[Name] was born in [Birthplace] to [Parents' Names] on [Birth Date]. [He/She/They] attended [School/College] and worked as [Profession/Career] for [Number] years at [Company/Organization]. [He/She/They] was married to [Spouse's Name] on [Wedding Date] in [Location]. [Name] had a deep passion for [Hobbies, Passions, or Community Work] and was known for [Personal Trait or Meaningful Habit].
[Name] is survived by [Spouse, Children, Siblings, Grandchildren]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [Predeceased Relatives].
A [funeral service / memorial gathering] will be held at [Time] on [Date] at [Location Name and Address]. [Burial / Interment] will follow at [Cemetery Name]. Memorial contributions may be directed to [Charity Name].
Concise Template for Print Newspapers
Print newspapers often charge by the word or line, making a shorter announcement practical and necessary. A concise version preserves all critical facts while keeping the publication concise.
[Full Name], [age], of [City, State], passed away on [Date]. Beloved [spouse/parent/friend], [Name] worked in [Industry/Field] and loved [One or Two Main Interests]. Survived by [Immediate Surviving Family]. Preceded in death by [Immediate Predeceased Relatives]. Services will be held at [Time] on [Date] at [Location]. Details and online memories may be shared at [Funeral Home Website].
Finding the Right Balance Between Personal and Practical
An effective obituary balances factual accuracy with personal feeling. Readers need to know when and where to pay their respects, but family and friends also want to read something that reflects the unique human spirit they loved.
You do not need to write poetic prose or use grand language. Simple, direct sentences carry deep resonance. Writing about small, specific habits—how they always carried peppermint candies in their coat pocket, how they whistled while fixing cars, or how they welcomed stray animals—often says more about character than listing formal titles.
If you are coordinating other spoken remarks for an upcoming gathering, learning writing a meaningful eulogy can help you decide which stories belong in the brief written obituary and which are better saved for the service itself.
Important Considerations for Publication and Privacy
Once your draft is complete, take time to consider where it will be published and how certain information is shared. Modern obituaries appear both in traditional newsprint and on digital memorial pages, and each medium has distinct advantages.
Printed newspaper notices reach longtime community members and provide a physical clipping for scrapbooks. However, because newspapers print on tight deadlines and often charge based on space, keeping printed drafts succinct is wise. Digital memorial pages, such as those hosted on mortuary websites, allow for longer biographies, full-color photographs, and interactive guestbooks where distant friends can leave condolences.
Protecting family privacy is also important. To guard against identity theft and safeguard the family residence during service times, many families omit the deceased's exact street address, mother's maiden name, and exact day of birth, sharing only the birth year. It is also wise to avoid mentioning that the surviving spouse lives alone or leaving private home addresses unattended during public viewings.
A Gentle Review Checklist Before Submitting
Grief makes concentration difficult, and small errors can slip into drafts easily. Before submitting the text to a newspaper or funeral director, review it slowly using these practical steps:
- Check every name: Read through the names of children, in-laws, grandchildren, and siblings. Confirm that every spouse is paired correctly and every spelling is accurate.
- Verify dates and times: Double-check the day of the week, calendar date, start time, and building address for all services. Confirm these with your funeral director before printing.
- Read out loud: Reading your draft aloud at a steady pace reveals awkward phrasing, repeated words, or missing punctuation.
- Have another person read it: Ask a family member or trusted friend who is slightly less exhausted to read through the final copy. A fresh set of eyes often catches small oversights.
Gentle Support During a Tender Season
Writing an obituary is an act of deep care. It does not need to capture every single day or achievement to be complete and loving; it only needs to honor the person you knew and provide your community with a way to remember them.
If you are writing an obituary for a service we are caring for, or if you simply have questions about publishing dates, newspaper submissions, or phrasing, our staff is here to help. At Larkin Mortuary, we have walked alongside Utah families since 1885, and our experienced funeral directors can guide you through every detail of writing, submitting, and preserving your family tribute. You are welcome to contact Larkin Mortuary whenever you need quiet guidance or a supportive hand.
Frequently asked questions
What is the difference between an obituary and a death notice?
A death notice is typically a short, factual announcement placed in a newspaper stating the passing and service times. An obituary is a longer biographical tribute that includes life stories, personal character, and surviving relatives alongside the service details.
Do I have to include the cause of death in an obituary?
No. Including the cause of death is entirely a personal family choice. You may describe it plainly, state that the passing was peaceful or unexpected, or omit medical circumstances altogether.
How long should an obituary be?
Print newspaper notices usually range from 150 to 250 words to keep publication costs manageable. Online obituaries can be much longer, often between 400 and 800 words, allowing space for richer stories and photographs.
Who should be listed as surviving family members?
Most obituaries list the spouse first, followed by children and their spouses, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, parents, and siblings. Extended relatives such as nieces, nephews, and cousins are often acknowledged as a collective group unless specific relationships warrant individual mention.
Can the funeral home help submit the obituary to newspapers?
Yes. Funeral homes routinely assist families by formatting obituaries, calculating newspaper submission costs, and sending the verified text and photographs directly to local and national publications on your behalf.